My freaking crap

The Vietnamese woman held a conversation with me that pissed of my father.

I am at a loss of where to hurl my sarcasm.

The Amazing Race let me down. The frat fools are still in it. But, Terrance or however it's spelled...is hauling his vegetarian heinie out of my TV. Thanks for the gracious Philimination, you hot Kiwi reality business.

You are mine tonight in my mind of dreams.

We may make nice, that Vietnam thing and me.

Don't mean I like her. I give her Christmas gifts because I choose not to make a scene.

Why can't she be Thai?

My dog turned three today

I gave her the best of canine birthdays ever. Like a special dog recipe cake. Doing all the things she loves...long walks, frisbee fetch, Iams biscuits, paw massages, full body massage. The squirrels in the back yard gave her the chance to chase them AGAIN.

Happy birthday, Reilly Sue.

My bad. But still! Did you see the bitter divorced girls get the elimination?

This is why I say reality TV sucks and rocks.

Making celebrities out of schlock does suck. The genius is editing to make it AWESOME! Damn. That editing makes The Amazing Race the shee-it.

God protects babies and fools. But God does nothing for teams on The Amazing Race. So why do they keep bothering God? He is busy with the babies and fools. Racers... stop asking for Divine Intervention.

My bad once more. They ARE babies and fools.

OH! Get this!

I think reality TV is about to slap some Amazing Race teams on the heinie REAL hard and swiftly next Sunday. India can move and prove a team, or turn and burn a team. Can't wait for Kazakhstan.

The frat brothers got upset that wind tossed their work to the floor. Can I say it? Major weenus behavior. And argue after? Weenus by thrice.

Ken and Tina.......save your Rupees. Turn out the lights, the divorce is coming....and the end of the race is too.

Star, you can do better than Dallas. If his mommy is always there in the race, she will be there MORE when there is no race.

Team AEPi/ASU, you have a chasm where the brain should be.



Yeah, I seem to be THAT bitch.

I kinda really seem to be that bitchy

But, I really don't find myself to be terribly bothered by this admission.

Some Asian con-ho made a translator connection. Be-bop-bo-be-toodle-de-do. And here we are. Ho Chi Minh Ho is now sleeping with my father. And now I am sharing secrets of her teen-age daughter. I have butt-loads of stuff.

She put her tiny tooties in a padded push-up bra, and tries to tell me that her teenie tooties are natural.

I am an expert on tooties. I have very real, not push-up ones. Her tooties are foolies.

I am that kinda bitch.

Oh, and she got big time busted, but you know. I can't tell you. Call me later. I'll give you the 411.